It Was You Page 12

  Placing one of his hands on my cheek, he separates our lips slowly. I can't help the pout I give, and when Jaron notices he smiles before giving it one more peck. "Don't be sad, beautiful. We need to head back today, and we'll make the most of our trip. No more tears, or throwing up, or any of this. Happiness. That is all I want to see is happiness. Okay?"

  "It's not going to be easy," I tell him.

  Looking my face over, he gives me a soft smile and nods. "I know, but we both need to try."

  "Okay."

  Glancing over his shoulder I see his sister standing away from the door, a tissue in hand as she wipes at some tears. She notices me noticing her almost instantly and her eyes widen. "I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear."

  Jaron turns to face her. "Don't sweat it, sis."

  Helping me from the floor, he kisses my cheek and tells me to wash up then to meet him in the kitchen. He closes the bathroom door when he leaves me be. I stare at myself in the mirror while letting the water run for a few seconds. I look pale but blissful, wretched yet loved. It's an odd combination but explains my situation perfectly.

  I don't like the thought of going home. What is home to me? It's nothing. I hate it. I don't want to be there. I want to be with Jaron, for as long as I'm allowed, then I want to escape from everything I know in this world. I want to be at peace with my life. I'll have to find a way to make that happen. I need to find the strength within.

  After getting cleaned up I meet Jaron and Justice in the kitchen. She has cooked us a feast. She must have been up bright and early to get everything done. The kid’s plates are placed on the table with scraps of food still sitting on them, meaning they've already had their breakfast this morning.

  Jaron hands me a plate, kissing my cheek in the process. "Fill up, it'll be a few hours before we stop for food again."

  I'm used to going long hours without being able to eat, but I still manage to overfill my plate with everything from sausage to eggs to bacon, even a bagel with mounds of fruit and cheese. I'm eating like a princess would, and when Jaron glances at me, giving me that ten million dollar smile, I feel like royalty.

  Justice places down a cup of coffee when I sit and I thank her for everything she's done. She hardly says a word though as she takes her own seat, with only a coffee for herself. I have a feeling too much of this food is going to go to waste.

  Breakfast ends up being moderately quiet. I catch Jaron peeking over at me from time to time, flashing smiles or simply staring. He is going to be the death of me, I just know it.

  When we're finished up, Justice comes back into the room with a small backpack that looks like it could fit her daughter. She hands it to me. "There are a change of clothes in there and a sweatshirt in case you get chilly at night. I also packed a few snacks. Jaron can't hold it while he is driving, so I figured you could strap it on your back."

  She's already given me enough. After all, I've worn her clothes since I arrived, used her shower and soaps, ate her food, and she even washed the clothes I showed up so I could wear them home. She has been more of a mother to me in my two nights here than my mom has been the last decade.

  To show her my gratitude- and surprising even myself- I pull her into a hug, holding her close for a few seconds longer than a normal one would be. "Thank you," I whisper.

  When we pull back from one another, she nods her head with a smile. "Take care, Ravyn. Please, call me if you need me for anything. Even if it's just to talk." She glances over to where Jaron is hugging the kids goodbye- tousling their hair and throwing them around. The way an uncle should- and most likely for the very last time. I know she is hinting towards calling her when he passes.

  "I will," I tell her, still looking to Jaron.

  His smile lights up the room. I envision a future with him, giving our children piggy back rides and knuckle sandwiches. It hurts my heart knowing he'll never have that. I know I'll never find anyone like Jaron- but possibly one day in the far future, I'll find someone I can love almost as much.

  He glances over, catching us watching him and shakes his head assumingly. "Okay kiddos, I have to get on the road."

  "No!" They both whine simultaneously.

  He pulls his wallet out, taking money out of the slit, then holds it in front of him. Two twenty dollar bills are shining in the kid’s faces like it's gold. "Go put these in your banks and buy something awesome with them."

  "You're the best!" Alexia yells to him.

  "Thanks Unc-Unc," Austin tells him.

  In passing both kids yell out bye but are far too fascinated in their new money than with giving me hugs or anything more. "I'll miss you two," I yell after them.

  Alexia peeks over her shoulder to smile and wave, then the two are off down the hall as fast as they’re allowed to go.

  Justice smacks Jaron's arm. "What are you doing spoiling them like that?"

  "Shut up." He glares at her but doesn't say anything more. We all three know exactly why.

  With a sigh she rubs his arm a way a mother would and stares at him like she is memorizing every single feature of his. I'm sure she'll remember this moment a million times. "Have a safe ride home and please call me when you get there."

  "Yes Mom," he mocks.

  "You know I worry about you."

  "What's the worse that's going to happen, I'll die a few weeks sooner?"

  Justice's hand echoes across Jaron's face so loud it actually jumps me from my skin. She gasps, holding her hand to her mouth after she realizes what she had done. I take a step back, knowing that they probably need a minute. With a shaky voice she tells him, "Don't say things like that."

  He bows his head in shame- rightfully so. "I'm sorry, Justice, that was out of line. I'll call when we get there."

  Adjusting herself, she stands proudly before him, ignoring what had just happened but I can see she is still shaken up. "I love you." When she looks at me, she grins but it's not as sincere as most of her smiles. "Have a fun ride... if you can."

  "I'll try."

  Knowing that I get to hold Jaron the entire way back will make the growling stomach, headaches, achy legs, and exhaustion completely worth it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The sun is high in the sky without a cloud in sight. It’s been hours since we left Justice’s home. He took an entirely different road back home, so I have no idea where we are. Not that I had much of a clue on the way there either. I tried to look at road signs, but they just remind me of where we're headed and what the future has in store for us when we get back, so I stopped caring about them. I've let the wind whip my pony tail around, the sun kiss my cheeks, and the smell of Jaron soak into my memory.

  He pulls off onto a random dirt road, killing the engine when we pull up next to a painted green picnic table. There is a charcoal grill next to it, and a beautiful view of a lake behind it. I watch as a bird soars through the sky, letting out it's call to the wild before it swoops down to the lake attempting to grab a fish. I'm not big on nature, I'm not outside as much as I probably should be, but in this moment I wish I were connected to it more. If I had a view like this, I'd be outdoors all the time, laying back and listening to music.

  "What are we doing?" I ask, assuming we're here to rest. I can guarantee he's getting tired of driving the bike. It's got to be painful on not only his legs but his arms, too. Especially after helping Kris yesterday morning.

  He climbs from the bike, stripping his white tee-shirt off and tossing it behind him. He kicks his sneakers off, looking at me with a seductive stare, then unclasps his pants. I choke on my words when I ask again, "What are... you doing?"

  "Cooling off," he answers back casually. Sliding his socks off his feet, he is left in only his boxers. This time when I look him up and down I do it brazenly. It causes a reaction between my legs, a throbbing pain I'm not used to, but one I will never complain about.

  "Oh."

  Slipping his boxers down to his ankles, he asks, "You coming?" I can hear the humor in his voice as
he makes his sexual innuendo.

  I don't even know how to answer him, so instead I slowly force my eyes back up to his face. His perks his brows up in the air, questioning if I'm going to come swimming with him. Taking a deep breath, I stand from the bike and start to strip out of my clothes as well. I have never cared for my body naked- and I'm the type of person who is shy even changing in the locker room full of females- but something about Jaron makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. So when I strip down to the bare minimum, I actually feel sort of... sexy.

  Especially when his pupils diminish, and more than his hair stands on end.

  Smiling bashfully, I slowly make my way towards him. He places his hands tightly against my hips, pulling me so that I jump into his embrace, wrapping my legs around his midsection- inches above where I want to be. He holds onto my ass as he makes our way into the water. Kissing my lips, I think he's going to be passionate and romantic, but he decides to take this moment to drop me into the water, making a large splash.

  When I resurface, I splash him back then wipe the water from my eyes. Before he has a chance to splash me back, I turn and start to swim away from him. He dives at me, bringing me under the water with him. This starts a battle between us before I even know it, and we start to wrestle in the water; splashing, laughing, jumping around.

  When he swallows too much water and starts to choke on it, all I can manage to do is laugh. He clears his throat while giving me a glare. "You just going to let me drown, huh?"

  "Maybe." I shrug my shoulders innocently enough, giving him my evilest grin.

  "That's it, this time you're asking for it."

  With a squeal I try to race away from him, but he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him before I have a chance to do much of anything. He grabs my leg and pulls it up to go around him but this time it's in the exact place I want him. His erection presses against my core. All our jokes and fun wash away instantly as I stare into the eyes of Jaron Spilner. The sun has a halo effect around his head, darkening his facial expression, and something about it makes him even sexier than he normally is.

  His lips brush against mine when he pulls my other leg up. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I hold myself to him. He pushes into me unhurriedly, filling me deeply. I can't help my moan, which echoes across the lake. "My favorite sound," he whispers.

  We make love in the lake. Something I wouldn't even dare put on my bucket list- if I had one. The water splashes against my chest, cooling the skin for all of a second. He tastes my neck and shoulders while I lean back, exposing it all to him. Soon he starts to get a little rougher but the feeling only makes everything more exhilarating. His fingers dig into my ass as he makes us go a little faster, and undeniably harder.

  The pleasure takes over my entire body, curling my toes and making my vision blurry. I don't hold back when I scream out his name, not caring who hears because right now in my world it's just Jaron and me. He bites down ever so softly on my shoulder when he goes as deep as he can inside me, holding himself there for a few seconds, then releasing all of his tension inside of me. His body slowly weakens and I rest my forehead on his shoulder, breathing heavily as I allow my heart rate to slow down.

  When he releases his hands from me, I stand back up in the water and stare at Jaron. Half his face is lit up into a sideways smile, forcing me to want more of him but I hold back. "That was..."

  "Incredible," he finishes the sentence for me.

  "Yeah," I whimper. "Incredible."

  "Would it make me a typical guy if I said I were hungry now?" When I splash water at him it causes him to chuckle. "What? Go make me a sandwich woman!"

  "I'll make you eat dirt," I quip.

  His eyes look down towards the water where my legs are. With a lick of the lips he says, "I'll eat something of yours alright."

  I've never known my face to heat up as much as it does now. "Um, no."

  The smile on his face quickly turns to shock. "You've never had your pussy licked?"

  "Ew, don't say that word," I tell him, curling my lip.

  "Seriously?" He continues, ignoring what I said. Apparently he is fascinated that I'd never want a man’s face between my legs. "Oh, I'll have to change that."

  Shaking my head, I tell him, "Nope. Not happening."

  Turning around I start to head back to shore. I can hear the water splashing behind me so I know he is following me. "Oh, but it is."

  "Nope," I continue to argue.

  When I grab for my clothes on the ground, his hand reaches between my legs. His finger brushing against my clit. A shiver runs through me. I'm frozen in place. That throbbing comes back but this time it’s somehow more intense.

  "Oh, I'm going to lick this so damn good." His voice drops an octave. The deepness in it makes me close my eyes. I don't dare to move because everything about right now feels so damn good- and all he is doing is touching it. Not even moving his fingers around.

  Just as that thought crosses my mind, his finger dips into me. "You're so tight, Ravyn," he nearly moans when he speaks. "And... wet."

  An odd sound makes its way out of my mouth. I'm being pleasured so easily it doesn't make sense to me.

  "Oh, you like that, huh?"

  "Mm," I answer softly.

  He moves his finger inside of me while pressing his thumb against my clit, circling it around.

  "Ohhh," I moan again.

  When his hand is no longer there, I turn around suddenly, giving him a confused look- but my confusion evaporates quickly. He holds my hips, guiding me back to the picnic table. "Lay down for me," he asks with a soft, pleading voice.

  I shake my head no but I can't speak. I find myself laying back on the table anyways, spreading my legs for him as he moves his hands along the inside of my thighs. "If you tell me no, I'll stop." He looks at me, waiting for me to say anything but I don't. Instead I lay my head back, closing my eyes so I don't think about the fact we're out in the open where anyone could show up.

  The heat from his mouth presses against my opening, awakening feelings inside me all over again. He continues to assault me with his mouth until I'm coming apart once more. I thought I'd feel awkward and shy, but as I start to get off, I grab ahold of Jaron's hair and pull him to the exact location I need him to feel the most incredible release.

  When I let go, I'm breathless and exhausted. He peaks up at me with a completely wet grin. "I should kiss you," he chuckles.

  Covering my face with my hands I let out a loud laugh- one that is utterly and entirely real. It almost doesn't sound like me. Apparently I'm not used to being this... happy. "I can't believe I just let that happen," I murmur under my hands.

  My clothes are thrown on top of me. Peeking through my fingers, I watch Jaron get dressed. It's a delicious sight to say the least. As he buttons his jeans into place, I climb off the picnic table- feeling horrible for anyone who eats there in the future- to get dressed as well. Once we're both clothed and satisfied, he walks over and kisses my forehead, leaving his lips there a few extra seconds. "You're incredible," he whispers against my skin.

  Closing my eyes, I soften into him. Into his words. I soak in every single moment that I can, burying those memories in a place I never want to forget. I hold onto each second as much as humanly possible.

  We get back on the road and don't make it far when he pulls into a small restaurant. It looks like another dive diner, but I'm finding out the small town, almost nameless ones are becoming my favorites. The peace, quiet, and mounds of food are the main reason- the fact that I attend them with Jaron is the added bonus.

  This time I don't even think twice when he orders for me- and again, it's a ton of food. I glare at him when he takes the first bite of his BLT sandwich. "What?" he says between bites. "I'm still a guy. At least I didn’t have you make it for me.”

  My response is a glare while I toss a piece of lettuce at him. Landing perfectly in his dark hair.

  I'm pretty certain I eat twice as much as Jaron, but somehow I was near s
tarving when we pulled in. He doesn’t tend to eat much at all, despite the amount he always orders, and it makes me curious if that’s him or the cancer.

  I eat so much that I have to sit back in the booth and allow my stomach to digest some of the food before I can move. Rubbing my belly as I push it out, I tell him, "Look at my cute little food belly." Even though there is hardly even a bump.

  He stares at my stomach for several seconds not saying a word. When it starts to get awkward, I ask, "What are you thinking about?"

  Jaron jumps out of his skin, looking up to me like he didn't even realize he was staring. "Are you on birth control?"

  "Oh." It wasn't what I was expecting but I nod my head. "Yeah, I am."

  "Good," he sighs. I can't deny that it kind of hurts that he wouldn't want to think of me bearing his children. I understand it though, so I continue to nod, staring off in the distance rather than at him. I don't want him to see the hurt in my eyes. I'm being selfish. Honestly, I don't want kids right now either, I can't even take care of myself.

  "I'd love kids," he says after a second, his voice quieter than normal. He grabs my attention easily with that statement and now I can't help but to stare. Mainly at the wrinkles that surround his eyes. He looks drained. "I always imagined having a dozen little brats running around.” His lips lift into a thoughtful smile. “Climbing trees, making forts, playing in the mud. I knew that if I had children, I'd own a home and never once move. Our roots would be dug deep into a small town, where everyone knows your name and your business. I would want a neighbor with a white picket fence that hated my children the way Mr. Wilson hated Dennis the menace."

  "What?" I laugh. "You're crazy. I hate living in a small town."

  "I liked the city when I was a younger, because I could be entertained a lot easier, but that's where the trouble lays. It's easier to find things, like drugs and liquor. There are prostitutes on corners, homeless families in alley ways. It's not a safe place to raise children. Plus, I never had a place to call home. I wanted that." After a small pause he adds with less volume in his voice, "I still want that."