It Was You Read online

  A million words run through my head, telling him to get lost and that I hate him. Defending myself entirely. Unfortunately, I am weak minded and scared, so instead I nod my head. "I'll talk with Rebecca. I may have to finish out my scheduled shifts until she finds a replacement though."

  He rolls his eyes but doesn't argue, surprisingly. "Fine, whatever. See you then. I'm going to Jamison’s for the night. I need a fucking drink after dealing with you."

  When I hear his pickup truck rumble in the driveway, I fall into the pillows on my bed and grab for my blankets, pulling them over my head. Tears trickle down my cheeks as I think of ways to escape from here, but I know it's all a fantasy, so eventually I fall asleep knowing everything I thought was going to just be my past may end up being my future as well.

  Chapter Five

  Working at Rebecca's is my safe haven. It's my life away from life. It's a safety net where I can earn money, a place where my focus is elsewhere. I love my manager, I love my customers, and I even love the staff. I'm the youngest employee here by over five years, and everyone else is busy working, so communication is limited. When we do get to talk, it's not about our home lives- it's usually our customers, trips we want to take, things we want to do or see.

  Living in the mid-west can become boring. We have all four seasons and we get to enjoy a lot of things, such as swimming, four wheeling, and hiking, but it gets boring fast. The same old same. I guess it could be that way anywhere, but we try not to think that. It's nice to envision hanging out on a beach in Florida, or going surfing in California, or shopping in New York City. Just about anywhere sounds better than here.

  Kourtney has worked here for twenty seven years and has lived right in Arlington her entire life. She's never even been out of the State of Nebraska before, and is currently waiting on her first granddaughter to be born. She tells me often that she envies me for leaving this place to attend college in Galveston. She's begged me to do all the things you can't do around here. I've told her time and time again, I plan to do it all.

  Except now I have the worries that somehow I won't be able to leave. I'm scared that if I try, he'll find me and force me to come back with him. He knows where I'll be attending college and he has the ability to make me do anything he says.

  If only I could find more strength within.

  "You got a new customer," Jessie tells me.

  I'm in the kitchen cleaning off the last tray of the day. I shouldn't have any more customers, it's five of four. "Can't, sorry, I'm about to clock out."

  "He's requesting you."

  "He?" I look over and Jessie smiles with a hint of pink of her cheeks. With a blush like that I can only imagine who is sitting at my table. "Tell him I'm done with my shift. You can take his table."

  "Already did, he's still requesting you." She winks as she walks through the door. She's in her thirties but is a recent divorcee, so she enjoys taking the younger men.

  Setting the last of the cups into the sink, I place my tray down and head out onto the main floor. There he is, sitting so beautifully at one of my tables, looking the menu over. My lips want to lift into a smile but I force it away as I quickly make my way over to him. Kyler will be here in less than ten minutes.

  "What are you doing here? How did you know I worked here?" I ask quiet enough that only Jaron can hear me.

  He grins at me in such a way that I almost want to smack him. He needs to stop this. We may have agreed to keep a secret that we have secrets, but that was that. We're not friends, we can't be. I thought I made that clear enough yesterday but apparently not.

  Placing the menu down, he says, "I'm hungry. I'll take-"

  "I'll have Jessie take your order. She works until nine, so she has all the time in the world to be your waitress. I, however, am leaving in a minute."

  "Then I'll just take a Coke."

  "Seriously," I hiss out, looking around real quick to make sure Kyler isn't here yet. "You need to leave. Stop following me."

  "Scared you'll upset your man candy?" The look on his face says he knows something. I don't like that thought.

  I don't give in though. Instead I shake my head. "Just go, Jaron, please."

  Surprisingly he slides out from the bench. He seems taller than he had before, maybe because I didn't allow myself to examine him much until now. His eyes, more green today, watch me closely as he stands before me, not leaving yet. "What are you doing?" I ask after a minute.

  He shrugs. "I could ask the same."

  "What do you mean?" My defenses are on high. He shouldn't question so much about my life.

  "What are you doing with him?"

  Rolling my eyes, I press my hands against his chest to give him a little shove, needing him to back off. Both factually and metaphorically. I can't handle this added stress in my life, especially right now. "I don't think that is any of your business."

  He lets out a sarcastic laugh. "No, it's definitely not." Turning, he walks from me. I want to chase after him and apologize for being such a bitch. I want to explain that it’s my fear that is making me be the way I am, but I can't tell him that, not without giving an explanation. Plus, if I chase after him and Kyler sees it'll be hell for me. So the urge inside of me remains even after he pushes through the glass door.

  "What was that all about?" Jessie asks as she stands next to me.

  I continue to look at the glass door, wishing that things were just a little different. Had I met Jaron a few years ago things could go in a much different direction. I can picture me being friends with him. Maybe more. He's nice enough... I think.

  "Nothing," I finally tell her. "I need to clock out though." Walking past her I head into the back of the restaurant to clock out.

  When I appear back up front Kyler is standing there, talking with Ava, the evening shift hostess. He smiles sweetly when he spots me. Once I reach him, he wraps his arms around me and plants a kiss on my lips. "I've missed you, beautiful."

  Ava swoons over his sweet gesture, the same as everyone does when we're in public together. "You too," I tell him, forcing a smile.

  "I'll see you later," he mentions to Ava as we start to head towards the door. I can't help but to feel like there was more to his statement than just that. I've often wondered if he's cheated on me. It wouldn't be surprising.

  The thought of him being with someone else doesn't make me jealous, it does however make me feel humiliated. It’s as if he's telling people I'm not good enough. It's one thing to make me feel that way, it's another to publicize it.

  When we near his truck, he turns to face me, getting too close for comfort- probably so no one hears him. "Why did I see Jaron here?"

  I feign innocence. "Who?"

  "Jaron, Jamison’s brother. You know, the one I told you was bad news."

  "I didn't even notice. I have no idea. I assume to get food." I pray I sound as nonchalant as I'm trying to.

  He studies me for a minute. By the way his jaw is working back and forth I can tell he is grinding his teeth. He's irritated about something, and I'm curious if it's that he caught me lying or if there is more to it. Finally he sighs and leans forward to kiss me on the cheek. Before backing away, he whispers, "I hope the fuck so."

  Smiling as he backs away, he points to the passenger seat. "Hop on in. We're going to do dinner at my dad's."

  "I thought that wasn't until next Saturday?"

  "Not his banquet. This is just dinner."

  "Oh, alright. Am I going to have time to change first?"

  He glances at my clothes before he rounds the corner to his side of the truck. "You need to be fast."

  Once I'm at my house, Kyler sits in the truck and waits for me to run inside. I quickly change out of my work attire and into a pair of leggings and a baggy short sleeved tee-shirt. He'll probably get angry it's not dressy enough for his dad's dinner, but I don't have much for nice clothing. My main source for clothes shopping is the thrift store. He's lucky I'm even wearing leggings, because I'm not a huge fan of them. The
only reason I even put them on is because my shirt covers my butt.

  My phone vibrates on my desk as I'm getting ready to head back outside. I pick it up and see Dawn's number on the screen. "Hello?"

  "Hey, what are you doing?"

  "Just about to go to Kyler's family’s for dinner. You?"

  "Oh. Hanging out with Serenity. We were thinking of going to Jamison’s tonight for drinks since it's a Friday night. We haven't talked with him yet though, so I was going to see if you could ask Kyler about it."

  "I don't think that's a good idea," I tell her, thinking of Jaron being there. He'll probably stay inside like the last party Wednesday night, but the mere thought of him being there causes my stomach to churn.

  "Why? Other people have mentioned him having a party. I just want to confirm it, that's all. It's not like I'm asking you for a big favor."

  The way she speaks to me reminds me of what Kyler said last night. That she is only my friend because she feels bad for me. Maybe that and the fact that I'm with Kyler, an inside connection to the man of her dreams. Frustration finds me but I know I won't lash out on the one person who seems to have always been there for me- even if her intentions weren't the greatest.

  With a loud sigh, I tell her, "Fine. I'll call you back after I speak with him."

  "Yay, okay, thanks. Oh, and you should see if Jamison’s brother will be there," she mentions in her sing-song voice.

  "Why?" I can't help the bitterness in my voice.

  "Um, you have eyes, hello! Unless..."

  "It's fine, I'll ask," I fib. I won't. Not after he just questioned him being at the diner.

  "Thanks, I owe you."

  I hang up the phone and head out into the living room to grab my shoes, and for some reason Kyler is inside, sitting on the couch. He's petting Dexter and talking with my mom, who must’ve just gotten home while I was in the room. "Ready?" I ask him.

  He smiles at me. "Yeah, I was just talking with your mom about you moving in with me, and about plans to start looking for a wedding dress."

  My stomach sinks. He was serious last night. I mean, I kind of knew he was, but I was almost thinking it was a spur of the moment pissed off rant. "Oh," I respond, staring at him with wide eyes. I can't even pretend to be excited about it all.

  "You didn't tell me that," Mom says with a grin. "I always knew the two of you would get married though. You can just see the love radiating between the two of you."

  Yeah, like the love between you and Bruce.

  "Well we just talked about it last night," Kyler adds in. "Right baby?" He looks over at me, the blue in his eyes are dark and warning. I need to just agree with him.

  "Yeah," I answer. "I thought we'd discuss it more before we started telling people though."

  He cocks his head to the side, like the idea of us actually discussing something is absurd. "I thought we talked about it plenty last night, but if you want to go more in-depth with plans, that's fine, we can do that this weekend."

  "Well, I need to call your grandmother and tell her the exciting news." Mom stands from the couch, grabbing her cigarettes in the process, and heads for the bedroom.

  Kyler stands as well to head towards the front door. "You coming?"

  "Yeah."

  On the way to his dad's house, I ask about tonight. "Dawn called and mentioned Jamison having a party tonight."

  "Yeah, so?" He glances over at me questionably.

  "So... are we going?"

  "I am. I don't know about you."

  I should say no, I should tell him I want to head home, but apparently I'm a glutton for punishment. "I'd like to go."

  "Why? You don't even drink."

  He pulls into his dad's driveway and slides the truck into park but doesn't cut the engine just yet. He stares at me, waiting for an answer. An answer I can't seem to really give him.

  "Because," I respond. "I thought it'd be nice. Plus, Dawn will be there."

  It takes him a few seconds to respond but he finally says, "Sure, whatever."

  Obviously he doesn't want me to be there. My thoughts wonder why it pisses him off so much. Normally he gets pissed that I don't want to attend things with him, not because I do.

  Getting out of the truck he doesn't say another word. He doesn't grab for my hand like he usually does, nor does he even look in my direction. I mindlessly follow behind him into a home fit for royalty. Then again, his father might as well be royal. He isn't governor, but he's running in the next campaign. He does a lot, not only for our town, but for our state as a whole. He wants to make the world a better place for our future- unlike Kyler. He is infamous in our town and loved by all.

  Their maid smiles as I walk in. "Ms. Graham, how are you this evening?"

  "I'm great, Gwyneth, how are you?"

  "Wonderful, ma'am." She continues past and into the dining room, prepping for their dinner per usual.

  "She's the help," Kyler spits out. Apparently I really pissed him off by asking to join him tonight. He has never gotten upset with me talking with Gwyneth. "Have some self-respect."

  "I do," I reply bitterly, knowing it's probably going to cost me.

  "Excuse me?" He turns on his heels to face me, but I'm saved by his father walking out of his office.

  "Kyler, Ravyn, nice of you two to join us tonight. How are you kiddo? How's your mom?" His dad may be busy all the time, but he has enough respect to at least be kind. I haven't figured out if he just puts on a front the way his son does, or if he's truly genuine. He hasn't given me any reason to believe he’s a monster, but I still have a little curiosity hiding within.

  I smile at his dad, Kevin. "We're both just fine, thank you for asking. How are you?"

  "Oh, you know, busy as usual. I'll see you both at the table in ten. Okay?" He questions Kyler.

  "Yes, sir."

  The two of us head up to his bedroom, which is twice as large as my living room and kitchen combined. He has it set up with his bed and dresser on one side, and an entire entertainment stand filled with all the best of the best on the other side. A few boxes are by his closet door and I look at them enquiringly. "What are those for?"

  He walks over to his radio and turns it on, blaring some country song I could care less about. I sit on his bed and watch as he strips out of his work clothing to put on something more comfortable.

  "Those?" He points to the boxes. "I started packing. Dad said he'd love for us to move into the guest house."

  "You already talked with him about it?"

  "Yeah, at work today. I called to tell Gwyneth to start packing for me. It'll be cleaned out by next week." Once his shirt is in place, he walks over to the bed, forcing my legs apart with his. He stands inches in front of me, looking at me affectionately. I haven't figured out what makes him tick, if it's a mental disorder or something else entirely. Sometimes I truly do swear he loves me, but then he proves me wrong. It's a repetitive problem that I'm ashamed to be a part of.

  His hand comes up to softly caress my cheek, holding my face in his palm. It's warm and consoling, a part of Kyler I don't get too often. When I do receive this kind of affection I crave more. It takes all my willpower not to beg him to continue to adore me the way he is pretending to right now. If he treated me like this always, I'd probably love him more than life itself, because we do have some good moments. They're just few and far between.

  "Baby," he says kindly. "Don't stress yourself out. I'm taking care of everything for the two of us. If you want to go shopping with Krystal next week for furniture, then that'll make me happy, but you don't have to. Otherwise, it's all taken care of. I told you, you're mine, for the rest of your life. I'll always take care of you."

  He comes down to press his mouth against mine. It's welcoming, and in some ways I almost want to melt into him, but then I remember that he's trying to take my college, my future, my escape all away from me, and I let go of all the comfort. It's replaced with repulsion. I smile all the same though, not letting him in on my disgust.


  "What furniture?" I figure changing the subject is the best I can do.

  I wouldn't mind going shopping with Krystal, even if it's for a home I don't want to live in with a man I definitely don't want a future with. Krystal is his dad's girlfriend. They've been together for about five years now. She's only a few years older than me though, which I find awkward. She is one of the genuinely nicest people I've ever met though.

  "A couch, bedspread, curtains, all that shit I don't want to deal with. Just nothing overly girly."

  "Gotcha."

  "So what do you say? Want me to ask her?"

  My mind is screaming no, but my head nods up and down, agreeing with him.

  "Perfect." He presses his lips to mine once more before backing away. Holding his hands out for me, I place mine in his, then he helps me to stand. A song about an old beach roller coaster comes on the radio and he asks me to dance to it. This is part of the reason I think he has something mentally wrong with him, because how could he honestly get pissed at me for talking to his maid five minutes ago, and now he's kissing me sweetly and asking me to dance.

  I twirl around the room with him, pretending that my life is this simple. This happy. That everything doesn't get blown out of proportion, and that I actually get to have a say about things in my life.

  Pulling me into his arms, we sway back and forth, slowing even more so as the song comes to an end. Running his hands along my body, he leaves them placed on my butt firmly, then pulls me in as close as I can be. I can feel his happiness pressing against my stomach. I'm not sure how dancing can turn a guy on so easily, but he managed.

  "Can we get married this summer?" he whispers in my ear.

  "This... this summer? Why?" I know why, that was a stupid question. We both know it, but I ask anyways.

  He can't even answer correctly. "Why not? What's stopping us?" I was hoping for something more than that. You know, an I love you that much, or I can’t wait to make you my wife. They’d be lies, I know this, but it’s better than asking, why not.