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Burning Attraction Page 8
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Page 8
"I'm sorry about last night," I say to him.
He leans against the sink and stares at the wall across from him. There is a long, awkward silence between us, neither of us moving. Finally Carson sighs and looks at me, a small smile on his face. "Me too. I shouldn't have said anything to you."
I shake my head. "Maybe not while I was drunk. But you should have. I should have said something to you before last night. I'm sorry I kissed Avery, I was caught up in the moment. It was only once, I promise you. I would never ever do that to you, Carson. I love you so much."
His smile grows, and he looks completely understanding. "I love you too, beautiful. It hurts but I'm not angry at you. But," he rubs his hands over his face the same way he did last night. I can tell he is frustrated by the way he does it. He looks at me again before continuing, "you love him too, don't you?"
I have to swallow before I can answer. I stare in his eyes and sigh, "not the same way I love you Carson. I can't explain it. He was my first love when we were kids and he left out of state. I hadn't seen him in years, and after I met you is when he came back into my life. The feelings I have for him, they're, I don't know, old I guess. I have love for him, I want him in my life, but not the same way as you. I'm in love with you, I want to be with you and only you. I'm not sure if that makes sense, and I'm sorry if it hurts, but it's the truth Carson. I want to be honest with you." I bite down on my lip, awaiting his answer. Our eyes not leaving each other.
"Maybe," he sighs and closes his eyes, "maybe we need some time apart."
I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces and a sob comes out of my mouth before I can even stop it. "No Carson, no, please don't leave me. I'll make it up to you, I'm so sorry, please." Tears spring free from my eyes and I get up off the floor to make my way towards him.
Carson puts his hand out to stop me from coming any closer and it causes me to cry even harder. "Cassie, just time. I love you so much, and I need to make sure we're strong enough. I can't give you my all if you can't return it. We'll both end up heartbroken that way. You need to figure things out as much as I do."
It makes sense but it hurts. I'm too scared this is our goodbye. I can't let it be. "I'm not giving up Carson. I'm going to prove to you how much I love you," I say.
He pulls me into his arms, and hugs me tight. "Good," he whispers in my ear. "Now, let’s go get Aubrey and get the two of you home." I nod in answer, crying too hard to say anything more.
Chapter 8: Dirty Little Secret
I don't get to talk to Carson on Saturday or Sunday, I don't even try to, I'm scared to push him even further away. But now that it's Monday and we are at school, I am determined to see him and have a conversation. Even if it's just a short one, I want to hear his voice and see his face. I've never cried so much as I did this weekend. I wait near one of his classes before it starts. Since it is when my free period is, I know I won't be late for my own. He comes trotting down the hall and sees me. His walk slows down but he still continues towards me, a sad smirk on his face.
I smile at him. "Hi Carson."
"Hey Cassie. What are you doing here?" His words hurt, but I still keep the smile on my face. He is looking at my eyes and must know I've been crying, they're still slightly puffy from the weekend tears.
"Just wanted to say hi to you. I, er... I miss you." I press my lips together when the words leave my mouth, and his smile grows a little bigger. It still isn't the same smile I want to see, but it gives me hope nonetheless.
"I miss you too, but I need to get to class." I nod, understanding, as he just stares at me for a few more minutes. "I'll call you tonight."
I don't even try to suppress my smile. "I'd like that," I say. He doesn't say anything more, just turns and walks towards the classroom, peeking over his shoulder for just a moment before he disappears into the room. I want to jump up and down with excitement but there are too many people around, so instead I just make my way to the library.
Sitting at a table alone, studying for my Psychology test, I hear the chair across from me slide out. I look up to see Pierce taking the seat. I give him a strange look. Why the hell is he here? And why is he sitting across from me?
"Hey there stranger, wha'cha doin'?" He asks me, looking down at my papers and open text book. He slides out his own book from a satchel he has on and I just keep starring. "What?"
"Um, what are you doing here?"
"Studying. What else?"
I raise an eyebrow at him. "Why?"
He throws his head back in laughter but I don't see why. I am truly confused right now. "Probably the same reason as you. I got a big test coming up, I need to prepare for it. What's this, Psychology?" He picks up my book and looks at the cover. "Yup, thought so. Professor Hendrix?"
I slowly nod yes, still staring at him like he has two heads. "Do you go to school here?"
He smiles, showing me all his dazzling white teeth. "That I do. I'm a senior. You didn't know that?"
"Didn't have a clue," I shake my head, "I guess I didn't care to ask around."
He laughs even harder than the first time and now people are looking at us. Great, I have a feeling there will be more conversation about me. Everyone must think I'm some kind of slut, knowing I dated Carson, kissed Avery, and now am talking to Pierce. Especially since most people don't know that I'm single, I probably look worse. "That hurts, a little," he says.
"Oh give me a break. You only talk to me to taunt Avery."
"No. I do it because I'm attracted to you. It's just a bonus when Avery gets pissed. Don't you have a boyfriend though?"
I have to swallow back the lump in my throat. I don't want to talk about my relationship status, it's too fresh. I shake my head no and look back down at my book, continuing my study. Pierce doesn't say anything more to me, allowing me to continue my work. I can't concentrate though. My heart still hurts from Carson, my head is still confused by Avery, and my hormones are out of control because of Pierce. What. The. Fuck.
Pierce clears his throat so I look at him. "What?" I ask at his amused expression.
He smiles, "you've been reading that same page for ten minutes. I don't think your studying."
I glare at him, not impressed he caught me. "Yeah, well, I got a lot going on."
He taps his fingers on the table like a drum. "Care to explain?"
"Nope." I look back down at the book, but suddenly it's being moved from me. I look up at Pierce, who is now holding my book captive. "I need that!"
"No you don't," he states with confidence. A dazzling yet smug smile on his face. "Tell me what’s bothering you and I'll give it back."
I sigh in frustration. "You suck!" He laughs at me but doesn't give in. "Fine. I was an idiot and kissed Avery after the fight, you know, the one he kicked your ass in," I wink, "and my boyfriend found out, and said we needed to take a break. Now I'm heart broken and confused. Oh, and now annoyed." I reach over to get my book but Pierce puts it down in his lap, grinning like an asshole.
"You're funny, you know. You can pretend you hate me, but you don't."
I stick my tongue out at him and start gathering my supplies up. Pierce bursts into laughter again and I can feel my face burning red. "You're an ass, you know," I say in a mocking tone. "And I do hate you!" I smile in a sarcastic way, but he is still clearly amused by me.
"And why do you hate me? What did I do wrong?"
I press my lips together before I put up my hand so I can count on my fingers. "One, you're rival to Avery, so it's natural I hate you. Two, you're too cocky for your own good. Three, you made things awkward in front of my boyfriend when I saw you out that day. Four, you stole my book and won't give it back. And-" I can't think of anything else. Quite honestly, I don't have a reason not to like him. I think I hate him most because I know I'm not supposed to be attracted to him, but I am. I really, really am.
His smile never leaves his face, "and?"
"I don't know, I just do! Okay?" I snap.
"You're too cute. Let me take
you out. You're single now, and you owe me anyways."
"No I don't!"
"Yeah, you do. You're the reason I lost that fight you know. Now you owe me. C'mon, I'll be a good boy."
"There is nothing good about you Pierce Danielson. Now, can I please have my book back?"
He shakes his head smiling. "Not unless you agree to date me."
I slide out from my chair, grab my bag of things I've packed up and walk off. I don't say anything more and I leave my book with him. It may have cost over a hundred dollars but I'd rather buy a new one than say yes to Pierce. I can hear him laughing as I walk away, but thankfully he doesn't come after me. I'm so frustrated that I can't concentrate and just leave school. I don't want to be here any longer, I only want to go home, take a cold shower, and veg out on junk food.
********************
Carson doesn't call me that night, or Tuesday, or even Wednesday. Now it's Thursday, and I have my Psychology test. Thankfully I managed to get some studying in because Aubrey has the same book as me. I'm walking towards my class when I hear my name being called out. I look over my shoulder to see Pierce's smug face. Damnit!
I turn towards him and hold out my hand. He walks over, my book in his hand, but I can tell there is a firm grip on it so I don't bother grabbing at it. "Can I have my book please? You're lucky I don't knee you in the balls too, I do not fail tests!" I say my words with as much attitude as I possibly can, because I'm actually incredibly pissed.
Pierce leans in close to my face, "you know when you talk to me like that, it turns me on Cassie."
I slap him in the face before I know what I'm doing. My eyes grow wide as his become hooded. He shakes his head slowly back and forth, but his smile is still there. I'm not sure what he is thinking, but I'm terrified. And turned on. Shit. "Can I," I start to stutter before I clear my throat, "I want my freakin' book back Pierce. And then you need to stay the hell away from me!"
He hands the book over but not before saying, "I'm not making any promises." The threat turns my stomach upside down and I can feel my face burn red. "And you enjoy that, don't you Rosie?"
"Rosie?" I breathe out the question.
His finger runs down my cheek. "You're burning red. And that isn't with embarrassment." He states it as a fact, not a question, and I breathe out a deep breath of air. I look around, making sure no one sees and they don't. We're actually all alone in the hallway and I'm highly aware of it right now.
I look back at Pierce, unsure of what to say to him. I grab his hand before I have a chance to think about what I'm doing and drag him down the hall after me. There is an empty room, so I enter it, pulling Pierce in with me. I close the door and turn to face him. He pushes me back against the door, his lips on my instantly, and I melt right into him. He grabs at my hips, pulling me up so that my legs go around his waist. Pierce walks away from the door, me still attached to him, still kissing him with so much force I'm nearly getting off. I'm pushed back against a wall in the back of the room.
Pierce pushes the hem of my skirt up towards my hips, and puts one of his hands between us. I don't question what is going on, because right now, I don't care. I'm so turned on. I've been too frustrated this past week, and I'm about to let Pierce do anything he wants to me. My underwear gets moved to the side, and two of his thick fingers dip into me. He twists them around inside me, pushing in and pulling out, over and over. He slides them out of me just as I feel my release building up.
I gasp into his mouth when his hard cock enters inside me. He doesn't have Carson beat on length, but certainly does on his girth. He fills me up and my nails dig into his shoulder. Pierce doesn't even take it slow as he pumps into me, harder and harder. I have to pull my mouth away from him and I lay my forehead against his shoulder, moaning as quietly as humanly possible. Since I'm about to scream out in pleasure, I bite down on Pierce's shoulder.
"That’s right baby girl," he says. Thrust after thrust, I can feel his sweat dripping down on me and my orgasm building.
"I'm going to come," I moan out before biting back down.
"Me too baby," he says in my ear. He sucks on my ear lobe then bites down right as I explode around his cock. "Oh fuck Cassie, you feel so good."
I can feel myself fill up with warm liquid, "Pierce," I scream, "oh my God, Pierce, oh my God." Tears run down my face with pleasure as a second orgasm builds from Pierce's thrusting. Even after he gets off he still pumps into me until I feel myself tighten around him one more time. "Holy fuck!" I scream louder than I should.
Pierce pulls out of me and kisses me on the mouth before putting me down on my feet. I adjust my underwear and skirt, while he fixes himself. "That was fuckin' amazing Cassie. We should do that more often," Pierce says, kissing me on the top of the head.
I can't help but laugh lightly. "Yeah, I might actually have to agree with you." I slide down the wall and sit there, unable to actually move. Pierce sits next to me and puts an arm over my shoulder. I rest my head into him. "I'm sorry I'm such a bitch to you."
He chuckles, "don't be sorry, it turns me on. As you just found out."
I look up at him, his grey eyes shining back down at me. You can just barely seem them glow in the dark of the room, but they're still beautiful. "Can we, uh-" I bite down on my lip for a second before continuing, "keep this between us?"
Pierce's eyes smile. "Of course. Can I still bring you out on a date?"
"I don't think that is a good idea. Not right now." I look down at the floor, but Pierce's finger goes under my chin, pulling it up to look at him again.
"Okay. I'll ask again next week," he laughs. "For real though, if your boyfriend gives up on you that easily, he isn't worth it. And I don't know what is going on with you and Avery, but he is an idiot for not trying any harder to claim you."
"I don't want to be claimed. I can't explain what is going on with Avery and I. We were best friends as kids, he moved back to be with me, but didn't tell me until it was too late. But I don't think he loves me as much as he says he does, and he hardly talks to me anymore. In fact, it's been almost a week. And before that, it had been several weeks." I shrug like it's no big deal, and in some ways, maybe it's not. I do want to be part of Avery's life, but not in a relationship. I thought a lot about it over the past week, and it just wouldn't be smart to date him. I just want to be friends with him.
"Well, he is still an idiot. Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you." He sounds genuine, not his normal cocky way. It makes me think that maybe Pierce isn't such a bad guy. We keep starring at each other, both smiling at one another.
"Thank you Pierce. That was nice to hear. I don't believe it, but still, it does make me feel better. Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I'm not sure why I ask him, but having conversation with him actually feels like the right thing to do right now.
He snorts out a small laugh. "Had one for six years. She left me the end of school year last year when she graduated. Said she needed to grow up and get a life. It hurt like hell. I came to San Diego just for her, we had plans for building a home, having kids, the works. I said fuck it after that. My only love is fighting. But even that is going to end this year."
"Oh, wow. Why would you end fighting?" I'm surprised by all his words, but when he talked about his ex, I could hear the hurt in his voice. It’s weird knowing a man his size, with his strength and endurance, can have a heart break too. I can't imagine putting six years into a relationship to have it thrown away for no real reason.
"Why would I continue it? I love it, I'll still go to the gym or whatever, but my dad owns his own business and I'm taking it over in a few years. I want to get started on it immediately after graduating, put all my time and effort into that. And maybe one day down the road I'll find someone new to love, who actually loves me back."
"You're different than I thought."
He pulls me closer into him. "You're different than I thought too."
Pierce and I remain on the floor, sitting and talking about our love lives
, well the lack of. We talked a little about careers and families as well. I found out so much about him that I would have never known. He grew up in a wealthy family, very similar to the way I did, and hates cocktail dinners as much as I do. He has one brother who is older and a niece that he spoils rotten.
By the time our conversation comes to an end, I am in shock by how much I enjoyed our talk. I can be so open and honest with him, it feels like a new best friend. Like a male version of Aubrey. Plus, he gives me a real point of view from a guy’s perspective. He claims that Avery is head over heels for me, but doesn't want to hurt me, so that is why he keeps a distance. And that Carson probably didn't call because he is still confused by his love for me, but my love for another man. It makes sense to me, and I'm happy to hear him to explain it the way he does.
"Alright, I'm going to miss another class if I don't get out of here," Pierce says, standing up. He reaches down and grabs my hand, helping me back onto my feet.
"Shit, I just missed that test!" I laugh, because that is not like me. I work hard for good grades, not to miss any classes or assignment, and certainly never tests. But it honestly felt worth it, between the sex and the long talk with Pierce.
He looks sorry. "Oh, I didn't mean for you to miss that."
"It was my fault, it's okay." I smile at him to reassure him that I'm not that upset.
"Yeah, you naughty girl you," he says, slapping my ass. I squeal out a giggle, then rub my ass because it hurt.
"Shhh, don't tell. You're my dirty little secret." I wink at Pierce and his eyes grow wide.
"I actually like the sound of that," he says, clearly amused. Then he asks for my phone number and I'm not hesitant on giving it to him. "See you later Rosie," he says, kissing my forehead before walking out of the classroom. I wait several minutes before I walk out, hoping no one sees, and since there is no one in the hall way, I'm safe. I think.