It Was You Page 9

  "You too, both of you. I'm Ravyn."

  Austin grins so wide his eyes are narrowed slits as he shows off all his tiny white teeth. Alexia asks, "Like the… bird?"

  "Yup, just like the bird."

  "Why?"

  Her mom laughs, "Sorry, that is their favorite question. They need to know why to absolutely everything." She tickles behind her neck. "Go get washed up you two, supper is going to be done before you know it."

  With a few grumbles of disappointment, the two kids run off to a nearby bathroom.

  "Dinner should be done in about ten minutes or so. I'm fixing to put the bread into the oven. Why don't you two go get washed up and head into the dining area? I'll be right in," she says mainly to Jaron.

  Looking at me, Jaron points down the hall to where the kids just went. "The wash room is around the corner. If you want to go wash up I'll be right there."

  "Okay." I smile bashfully at the two of them before walking down the hall, listening for the kids giggles to find my way.

  The washroom is basically the size of my bedroom, yet there is only a sink and toilet in the room, along with a large shelving unit. If I had one wish in the world, it'd be to live in a home like this. At least if I have to deal with people like my mom, Bruce, hell even Kyler, then at least I'd live in a place where I could get away. I could pretend to be someone special, someone worth anything in this world. I wouldn't feel like the trailer trash I grew up being.

  Maybe one day I can work hard enough myself to get to a place like this. That is all I can do. Although it'd be wonderful to have a man in my life like Justice's husband, I can't allow myself to depend on anyone else aside from myself.

  "Are you Jar's giiirlfriend?" Alexia asks with stars in her eyes. They're the same swirls of brown and green as Jaron's, and it makes me smile. They have a beautiful family, even Jamison in all his douchebag glory.

  Shaking my head, I tell her, "No, sweetie, I'm not."

  "Why?"

  "Well, we pretty much just met." It's the only truth I can come up with. I couldn't hurt her feelings anymore by telling her that it'll never happen.

  She gasps loudly. "Oh no, so you're a... stranger?"

  Her brother shakes his head. "Mom wouldn't let stranger in."

  "True." Alexia purses her lips. "Well, if you dressed better, he'd probably love you. You need to fix your hair, too." She looks up, shaking her beautiful head of hair back and forth. "It's a disaster!"

  "Alexia," Jaron's voice scolds her from the door. Her eyes widen twice their normal size getting caught. "Apologize."

  "No," I tell him. "She shouldn't apologize for being honest."

  The conflict on Alexia's face would probably make me laugh if it weren't for not wanting to upset Jaron. He sighs. "You're beautiful, Ravyn, don't ever let anyone tell you different."

  Rolling my eyes, I turn to the sink to turn it on. Both kids run out of the washroom, probably ready to eat.

  "You are, you know," Jaron says as he moves in next to me. The sink is large enough for the two of us to both wash our hands. I can sense him looking at me but I find more fascination in the running water.

  When I dry my hands without a word still, Jaron walks over and shuts the door in front of me, keeping me in the bathroom with him. "Look at me, Ravyn, please."

  You wouldn't believe how much effort it takes to look into his gorgeous eyes, but I manage to find the effort somehow. His eyes don't sparkle like they normally do, in fact, they kind of look sad. "Don't do this," he tells me. His voice isn't stern though, no, instead it's... soothing. "You are beautiful, even with wind-blown rat nest hair and bags under your eyes." He smirks, finding far more amusement in his words than I do. When he realizes I'm not finding anything about my looks funny, he grabs my hands and pulls me closer. My heart skips a beat, curious at why he'd pull me closer, at what he is about to do.

  I know he isn't going to kiss me but the way my chest feels you'd think he just asked me to marry him. Jesus, I need to stop acting like a pathetic school girl.

  "I wish for once you could see yourself the way others see you. I know you know you're beautiful, I also know that you try hard not to look it. I don't think you realize quite how incredible you look though. The steel gray of your eyes are hypnotic and your lips begged to be kissed, your skin is soft and touchable, your hair when it's not so... messy," he looks it over, smiling once more, "bounces and sways with each step." Looking back in my eyes, I swear he is going to kiss me. I can feel the pull between us, like two magnets needing to press together, but he doesn't give in. He stares for several seconds before he simply adds, "You're the best kind of beautiful."

  Then someone flips the magnet and he repels away from me. "We'll sleep here tonight if you don't mind, then in the morning I'm going to help my brother in law. When I'm done with that we can head back, if you're not too sore."

  My lip quivers too much to speak so I choose to nod my head instead. He runs the back of his finger lightly on my chin line and it looks as though he wants to say something more but withholds himself from doing so.

  Opening the door, he holds it for me to walk through first, then follows behind me, telling me which way the dining room is. Everyone is sitting at the table already, including Justice's husband. He doesn't look cleaned up like everyone else, in fact he looks entirely out of place in the setting. With his greasy fingers holding the utensils in his hand, the white shirt soaked with different types of oils, and everything else about him makes him look like he came straight from the garage or something.

  Once I'm introduced to him, Justice serves Jaron and I each a plate, and we dig into our food like everyone else already has. The food is incredible, I'm not sure why she seemed so unsure about it beforehand. In fact, it's one of the better home cooked meals I've had in a long time.

  After dinner is finished, I help Justice clean up while the kids run upstairs to play. Jaron heads outside with Justice's husband, Kris, to tend to some last minute chores. "So how do the two of you know each other?" she asks while loading the dishwasher. I sit on the barstool and watch, feeling guilty I have nothing to do to help her clean, but everything is already picked up and put away.

  "Um, Jamison was having a party I attended, and he helped me get a tick out of my arm."

  Justice flashes a smile at me and it resembles Jaron's tremendously. "So he's still partying? Jaron I mean, not Jamison. I know he hasn't stopped."

  "No, he actually keeps completely to himself. I didn't even know he existed until I snuck into the house to use the bathroom," I admit. "He got worried that I'd upset his dad, but then he saw the tick and helped anyways. I ran into him the next day and I don't know, I guess we randomly became friends."

  She closes the dishwasher door and presses a button to start it, then leans back against the opposite counter, folding her arms while she looks me over. "He's going to kill me for giving you the fifth degree, you know."

  "That's fine, nothing seems to make him completely happy."

  "You make him happy," she says confidentially. I wish I had that much confidence in the situation.

  Shaking my head, I tell her, "That isn't true. We're only friends."

  "That may be so but I know my brother. He doesn't let people in. He's all about family but not a thing more."

  "I've noticed. Why is that?"

  The look on her face lets me know before she says a word that it isn't her story to tell, which I should have assumed. "He'll tell you when he's ready. When are y'all heading back?"

  "He said tomorrow, after he helps Kris with some chores."

  “Only one night?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “It was all spur of the moment. He has to try to be back for Tuesday.”

  Justice nods her head slowly, probably coming up with more questions in her head. After a second too long of an awkward silence, she starts back in. Now I see why her daughter asks so many questions. "So you know Jamison? Did you go to school with him or something?"

  "Yeah."


  "Did you just graduate, too, or?"

  "Yeah," I answer again.

  "Going to college? What are your plans?" Her smile doesn't disappear, so I'm sure she's enjoying this way more than me.

  Although I have no idea how things will pan out once I get back home, seeing as I didn't clear the air with Kyler yet, I'm going to go ahead and assume I'm now free to do as I please- as in not marrying Kyler, and being allowed to go to college. That is, if he doesn't try to ruin my life more than he already has. So I go ahead with what my plans are, rather than what Kyler had planned for me. "I'll be attending A&M in Galveston in the fall." I can't help but beam at that statement, although I don't brag about much of anything in my life, that is one thing I'm undoubtedly proud of, and always will be.

  "Awesome. I've been a million places but Texas isn't one of them. What are you going for?"

  "To be a marine biologist."

  "Wow," Justice says, truly amazed. "I wish I had the guts to do something like that."

  Looking around her kitchen and all the incredible things she has, I give her a sour look. "I wouldn't change a thing in your life."

  Her smile is smaller when I look back towards her. "Not everyone's world is black and white." There is so much truth to her statement but I let the words fade away into the distance. With a clearing of her throat, she gets back on her feet to walk towards the hallway. "I need to go get the kids ready for bed. Do you want a change of clothes for the night?"

  "I couldn't-"

  "Stop right there. You're not imposing, not in my home. I'll show you the way to the bathroom and you can shower and change into something more comfortable. I even have a spare toothbrush you can have." She doesn't look at me while she politely gives me orders. I follow after her up the staircase that I've only ever seen in movies- almost as stunning as the one in the movie Clueless.

  After Justice has everything set out for me in the bathroom, linens and all, she leaves me be. I turn on the hot water, waiting for it to become the right temperature, then climb in, allowing the water to cascade down over me. It feels amazing to be in a shower after all this time. My hair was a catastrophe and my body I'm sure smelt repulsive.

  I take a few minutes longer than I normally would have, enjoying hygiene products purchased from a salon rather than Budget Barn. I climb out, trying not to drip water anywhere on the floor because their home is too immaculate. I'd hate to make a mess of anything anywhere.

  Justice must be a little heavier than me, not that she looks it, but because her sweatpants and tank top are loose on me. Just the way I like them to fit actually. Once my hair is combed through, my teeth are brushed, and I use one of the sample sized deodorants she gave me, I feel like a whole new person. I’m comfortable and... gratified.

  As I reach for the door to open it a knock sounds on the wood. I pull it open and smirk when Jaron peaks in at me, pretending to cover his eyes with his hands. He peeks through his fingers, showing a hint of a smile himself. "All set? I'm not trying to rush you."

  "I just finished up actually."

  "I'm going to shower too, if you don't mind."

  "Of course not," I tell him. Not sure why I would.

  Opening the door wider, he walks in and tosses down some clothes in front of the tub and reaches into the closet to get linens of his own. "Do you mind sharing a room again, or would you rather I sleep in the living room?"

  "Um..." I bite down on my lip not wanting to be honest about sharing a room. I don't want to share a bed, that'd be too awkward, but I'd rather not sleep in this strange house alone.

  He seems to read my mind when he slightly nods. "There is a pull out bed in the guest room. I'll let Justice know, unless you want to. She is down the hall to the left, tucking the kids in."

  "Thanks," I mumble, walking off.

  I hear him yell after me, "I told you to stop thanking me."

  Still biting down on my lip, my mouth spreads into a full blown smile. He needs to stop making me feel this way.

  Chapter Ten

  The room is dark, merely lit by the moon in the sky splayed across the bedroom floor. The grandfather clock down the hall dings, echoing inside the empty surrounding. With a deep sigh, I look through the giant picture window at the starlit sky. As a child I loved looking up to the moon when my father was away- I would hope he was staring at the moon the same time as me. That way we could be connected even with all the distance between us. Then when he passed, I'd stare at it even longer each night, hoping that he was the man in the moon I heard people so often talking about.

  As I grew up, I realized that was all simply a tall tale, and my security slowly died out.

  I haven't felt that comfort since I was ten, but being surrounded by Jaron gives me a similar feeling. I wish he wouldn't, but I'm thankful he does.

  He coughs followed by a clearing of his throat. Twisting my head around to face the pullout bed, I see that he, too, is staring out the window. "I didn't realize you were awake," I whisper loudly.

  He focuses on me instead of the window and from the glare of the moon I'm almost certain he has tears in his eyes. With another clearing of his throat he whispers back, "Why are you?"

  "I can't sleep," giving him the most apparent of answers.

  "Obviously." I hear a slight chuckle in his voice. Maybe he wasn't crying after all. "But why?"

  Peaking back over the windows, the moon starts to become covered by a heavy, gray cloud. "Was looking at the moon."

  "The moon?"

  "Yeah, it... helps."

  "Helps with what?"

  "I thought we weren't getting into all these questions," I tell him, looking at him once more. He is now looking up to the ceiling rather than in my direction. It's hard to see his expression being in the darker corner of the room. "Why are you awake?" I ask when he doesn't say anything to my last response.

  He stirs a little in his bed then without an answer he climbs out and walks over to mine. He is in a pair of loose shorts but he may as well be naked with how it makes me feel seeing him this way, especially with the light shining in, giving him a glow of shadows in all the right places. "What are you doing?" I quickly spit out when he pulls back the blanket covering me.

  Without so much as a word he climbs into bed with me but doesn't touch me. Pulling the blanket back up, he curls onto his side and looks out the window once more, smiling this time. I continue to stare at him, only inches from his face, mesmerized about everything that is Jaron Spilner.

  After a few seconds his face moves from the moon to my eyes, and this time I'm certain there are tears in his eyes.

  "Tell me your secrets," I whisper.

  His lips slowly grow into the saddest smile I’ve ever seen, completely contradicting itself. "You don't want to hear them, Ravyn."

  "Why don't you let me decide that?"

  "Why did you stay with Kyler for so long?"

  "Don't change the subject."

  "I'm not," he tries to convince me. "I want you to answer me, in the least amount of words as possible, why did you stay with him for so long."

  "I... I don't think I know." I can't think of a valid reason behind it now that I'm away from him, but while I was with him, I could think of a hundred excuses as to why I stayed. Mainly out of fear, as ridiculous as that sounds. Since it does sound pathetic, I avoid saying it to Jaron. He understands a lot, but I don't think he'd understand that reasoning.

  Except that he answers it for me. "You were scared to be with him, but terrified to walk away." His statement is so bold and honest, and I don't have to say yes for the two of us to both know that is exactly why. He continues to speak without missing a beat. "My secret is the same, except backwards."

  "You're scared to walk away but even more scared to stay?"

  "Exactly."

  It doesn't make sense to me at all. I wish he'd tell me.

  Becoming frustrated with his hidden secrets, I roll over so I don't face him any longer. After a few minutes, his arm hooks around me, holding me eve
r so softly. I hate that I find bliss in it, I hate that I want him to hold me even tighter.

  Seconds before drifting off to sleep, I hear him whisper with emotion laced deep in his throat, "I'm so sorry."

  *--*--*

  "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" The adorable little voice echoes in my ears.

  Rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes, I spot a dark haired little girl inches from my face, smiling ear to ear with excitement. "She's awake!" she yells even louder.

  Her brother comes into view behind her, nervously grinning as well. "Hi," he peeps.

  "Morning," I tirelessly grumble to the two of them.

  "You two, get on out of here. Go eat your breakfast!" Their mom scolds. The two little munchkins widen their eyes then scurry off on out of the room. I peak over to the door where Justice smiles in at me. "Sorry about that, I told them not to wake you."

  "It's fine," I tell her. "I needed to wake up anyways."

  With a sincere smile, she lets me know there is coffee, then follows them down the hall.

  Stretching my body out I realize that I'm alone in the bed. Last night surfaces to my mind. Jaron wrapped his arms around me so snug that I felt comfort in more ways than I had ever known. It wasn't comfort in the sense of psychical form, but in the sense of feeling secure. Adored. Treasured.

  Loved.

  Tears surface at the thought of someone actually loving me. It's been years since I felt anything that strong and demanding- ever since my dad. In fact, this is so much more than what he gave to me.

  My body swarms with hope. Hope that this in fact will become something. I don't need romance and flowers, nor do I need a boyfriend at my beck and call. My only request is that he'll whole heartedly love me for me, and he'll show it.

  When I first met Jaron he had awoken something in me, something I hadn't known existed, and with each day together I'm finding a new piece of me. He was a heaven sent miracle. I know our time is short though, and that thought alone makes my heart constrict. Even when we make it back home, I'm only here for the summer. That is, unless Kyler still remains to have some hold over me- and if that is the case, then I really don't have Jaron at all.