It Was You Page 6

  I have to find a way to prevent it from happening this summer. About any excuse will suffice if I can have him hold off until at least the fall time. So I tell him the only reasonable excuse I can think of that hopefully doesn't anger him any. "I just don't think it's enough time to plan the wedding we deserve."

  He pulls on my chin with his finger, causing me to look directly up to him. His eyes read me for a few minutes before slowly nodding his head. "How long do you think we'll need?"

  "A few months, at least. Maybe a fall wedding. Wouldn't that be beautiful?"

  "And cold," he adds bitterly.

  "Not if it's all indoors. We wouldn't have to worry about the weather."

  "I'll talk to father about it."

  I smile in a small victory, mainly picturing me being far gone from here before we have the chance to walk down the aisle. My only guilt would be that his father is probably going to be the one paying for everything.

  Chapter Six

  "Can I steal her a moment?" Dawn asks Kyler when we arrive. She's pulling on my arm before either of us can answer.

  With a small wink, he tells her, "As long as you give her back before the night ends."

  He walks away without even saying goodbye, not that he exactly has a chance. Dawn is pulling me until we're completely out of hearing range of anyone else. "Oh my God, Ravyn, do you even know about that Jaron dude?"

  "What about him?"

  "He killed somebody." Her eyes widen but I can't tell if it's in amusement or fright.

  The fact she believes whoever told her that humors me greatly though. "Yeah, okay," I reply sarcastically.

  "No, seriously. Jamison told Katherine who told Serenity who obviously told me. That's why he's home, he has to do some kind of community service or whatever. Stop hanging out with him."

  I can't even hold back the eye roll. "You think if he killed someone he'd be doing community service?"

  Her mouth snaps shut as she thinks that part over. "Well. No. I... I don't know."

  "They're all rumors. If Jamison told Katherine that, it was probably to get her to stop ogling him or something."

  Slowly Dawn's lips spread into a mischievous smile and I know exactly where her thoughts are going. "Good. I'm glad he didn't kill anyone. He's too hot. You really should mention me next time you talk with him."

  "There won't be a next time, Dawn," I tell her again. "I'm not friends with him. If you like him so much, go re-introduce yourself."

  I watch as she thinks on it. I know she isn't shy when it comes to guys, but she isn't exactly forward either. The girl definitely has a lot of confidence, something I envy the most about her. I can't help but feel resentful at the thought of her pushing her confidence towards Jaron. I may not want him, but I don't want her to be with him either. He's my own personal hidden jewel I want to keep all to myself.

  "If he comes outside, I think I will." She peeks over at the house. His bedroom light is on, so he must be in there. I hadn't noticed if his bike was here or not. "I wonder if that's his bedroom."

  When Dawn bites down on her lip, I blurt out, "No, I think that's their dad's room." I'm not sure why I lie. I need to keep my emotions in check. I need to not be jealous of someone who is not mine and never will be.

  She loses hope in that idea. "Bummer. Alright, let's go get a drink."

  "Sounds good to me." For once, I feel like I need a drink. Between Kyler trying to ruin my dreams and plan a wedding, Jaron coming into my life suddenly, and Dawn trying to take him away, I need a night to let go. Too bad I'm too scared to actually get drunk. Especially with Kyler being here.

  Dawn and I each fill up a cup with beer from the keg, then walk over to her crowd of friends. Serenity is gushing about her new car that her parents bought her for graduation- a red convertible. Most of the conversations going on enter one ear and leave the other as I sit her mindlessly pretending to be interested in things, although that could be further from the truth.

  "I heard you're not going to A&M anymore, Ravyn?"

  I peak over at Jaella questionably. "Says who?"

  The entire crowd goes silent as they watch me closely, mainly Dawn who looks as confused as I feel. I'm sure Kyler told a few people but my question is how Jaella of all people found out so quickly that he decided that for me.

  "Oh, um, Kyler told me. He said y'all are getting married instead." She cocks her head, now showing confusion herself.

  I'm not even sure how to respond. Do I say yes, just so that it gets back to Kyler that I'm following along with his plans- and look like a complete and utter wench? Do I say no, since I don't want any of it? Do I tell her possibly, because at this rate I don't even know what my future holds? Either way I am going to get backlash of some kind, whether from Kyler getting pissed at me for embarrassing him, or from this crowd of people who all think I'm just some bimbo about to give up her future so my boyfriend can take care of me.

  I receive enough whispers and stares due to who my family is. I guess adding in a few more won't hurt any, especially if it means I don't get hurt psychically.

  "I didn't know he was telling anyone," I answer, attempting to clear up her confusion.

  Dawn shoves at my shoulder, pushing me out of the crowd of people. "Walk," she orders.

  Turning on my heels, I head back away from the crowd. I hear a few shocked voices and plenty of hushed words. It doesn't take much to entertain the people in this town. "What?" I ask when we get far enough away.

  "You're not going to Texas anymore?"

  "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

  "I love you, I love you with Kyler, and don't get me wrong, I think you're incredibly smart, but seriously? This is the dumbest decision. You can attend college still, then come back home and be with him. You don't have to throw it all away for him."

  How do I explain I have no choice? She wouldn’t understand. Clearly. "I said I don't know what I'm doing."

  With a long sigh, Dawn places her hand on my shoulder and slowly shakes her head back and forth. Her eyes are pleading with me, the way they have many times before. "Don't let him make decisions for you, Ravyn. I know that you're used to people walking all over you, I get that that is why you two work so well together, but now is the time to put your foot down. Do what you want, not what he wants for you. It'll all work out the way it's supposed to."

  "Is that why you and I are such great friends, because I let people walk all over me?" I snap. After what Kyler said about Dawn not being a real friend, it's made me wonder. Now that she says those hurtful words, it's as if she's confirming it to be true.

  "What, no. Ravyn, all I'm saying is..."

  "It doesn't matter," I interrupt. "You've made your point. I am doing what I want to do, so just... mind your own business."

  Dawn's face grows red with anger. "Ravyn-"

  "Just stop," I order with a loud voice. "Stop telling him not to walk all over me while you're doing just that!"

  "You're being ridiculous."

  "Thanks. Appreciate it." My sarcasm comes out with a small choke of emotion. I've never had an argument with Dawn, but then again, I never stick up for myself. Without another word I walk away, ready to find Kyler and ask if we can get out of here. Although, I truly don't even want to leave with him. I'd rather walk home.

  After ten minutes of walking around I don't see Kyler anywhere and my anger grows even more. Ready to be done with today, I head towards the road, prepared for the dark walk. Walking past the garage, I hear the timid voice of Kyler accompanied with a female's giggle.

  Rounding the corner of the garage I spot Robin pushed against the building, her skirt hiked up to her hips. Kyler's body is placed snuggly against her, holding one of her legs up around him. He says something more that causes her head to fall back and a small moan to escape from her lips.

  I don't feel jealous or angry watching them in front of me, instead I feel defeated. I've given him so much, I watch what I say or do so I don't make him upset, and after years of both phy
sical and emotional abuse this is how I'm repaid. They say to follow your instincts, so I should have known he cheated. Thinking it and knowing it are different things though, and right now I feel total disgust.

  I thought after graduation that things would get better, not worse. I knew this final summer was going to be a challenge to get through but I didn't expect all of this. A best friend who apparently isn't a friend at all, and a boyfriend who tells me he's going to marry me one minute and prepares to fuck a whore the next.

  "Fuck you," I hiss out. It feels good to say to him, finally after all this time.

  Kyler freezes for all of a second while he turns to face me. Robin's leg drops and she looks shocked to have been caught, proving herself to be even more of an idiot. I don't pay any mind to her though, my attention is completely on the douche bag in front of me.

  His face contours from the horny, happy teenager he just was to the asshole he normally is. "What did you just say to me?"

  "Fuck. You." Euphoria washes over me when I repeat those words. I've wanted to tell him that so many damn times.

  He snorts out a hard laugh, mocking amusement. Pushing Robin aside, he adjusts his pants before walking in my direction. My feet remain planted on the ground. He doesn't seem to care that she’s watching as he grabs my arm and pulls me close to him, gripping hard into my skin. I know it's going to bruise. His words seethe out of his mouth in pure outrage. "You don't fucking speak to me like that. You got it, cunt? I'm your damn fiancé and you're going to respect me. Understand?"

  When I don't say anything, he squeezes my arm tighter causing a small whimper to break free.

  "What was that?" he breathes heavily in my ear. "I can't fucking hear you."

  "Fuck you, Kyler. Fuck. You." My eyes close tightly in preparation to what is yet to come. I'm pretty certain I've angered him to the point of not caring who is around.

  The blow to my face stings. The pain radiates from my cheek down to my neck. I'd have fallen back if it weren't for him still holding my arm with all his might. Before I'm even given the chance to react, his free hand comes up and grips onto my jaw, holding my face firm. The skin inside my mouth starts to taste like blood as it’s being forcefully pressed against my teeth. I'm given no choice but to face the creature in front of me.

  "I don't know who the fuck you think-" he starts to loudly speak in my ear before he's interrupted by a voice that instantly causes nerves to become hyperaware in my stomach.

  "I don't know who the fuck you think you are." Jaron repeats the words of Kyler, only they're not meant for me. "Now let her go and back the fuck off."

  Kyler doesn't let up though, at least not yet. His jaw ticks back and forth, probably from being caught. He stares past me but his face remains close. I can smell the stale beer on his breathe when he tells Jaron, "This doesn't concern you."

  "Oh, but it does. You're on my property. Let her go... now."

  "Or what?" Kyler questions.

  "Or I'll fucking kill you," Jaron angrily spits out at Kyler.

  I do my best to swallow but his force on my neck is too hard and instead it causes me to start choking. Kyler only grips harder and I find it more difficult to breathe. He says something to Jaron but my concentration becomes on trying to free his hand from my neck. I claw at his hand, trying to pull it from me but his grip becomes too much. My sight starts to fog.

  His hand is pulled from me and I finally fall to the ground, chocking hard on the air that I'm desperately trying to breathe in. I don't even notice the stinging of my knees until I'm finally catching my breath. Arms come around me, desperate and weak. I realize that it's Robin, as she continues to whisper how sorry she is.

  I look up to see Kyler pinned to the garage by Jaron's rugged arm. His fist shakes like he's about to punch Kyler, but he remains still. They stare into one another’s eyes, saying so many things without speaking a single word. Finally Kyler shoves Jaron back from him, although he doesn't budge much. "Stay the fuck off me," Kyler spits out. "You fucking fag."

  Jaron gives him a shove, causing him to fall back into the wall once more, but says not a word. Walking over to me, he reaches down to help me up. It takes a minute for me to stand on my own two feet. I look back over to Kyler who is simply giving me a glare- a warning. Oh there is going to be a serious amount of consequence to all this. He and I both know it.

  A part of me wants to run to Kyler and beg for his forgiveness, only for the sake of not being as harmed later on, but I don't. I can't seem to move at all.

  Robin snaps me out of my thoughts by getting in my face as close as she possibly can. "Are you okay, Ravyn? I'm so sorry. I didn't realize this would happen."

  "I'm fine," I tell her. My voice monotone and emotionless, as it usually is.

  Her eyes widen, like she understands things now. "I… I… I'm sorry," she whispers once more.

  "Come with me," Jaron orders, pulling on my arm.

  He stops pulling on me once we round the corner but I continue to follow him until we're at the front door. He peaks over at me, and from the look on his face I'd say he is more than pissed. I'm not sure if at me for being with Kyler, or at Kyler for doing what he did, or a little of it all. It shouldn't matter to me- and it shouldn't matter to him either.

  After a second of silence he finally asks, "How many times has he hit you?"

  I don't answer that. I won't. Instead I look over towards the road. It's about an hour walk home, and I could use the time to think. I whisper out a thanks to Jaron, then I head home on foot.

  Chapter Seven

  I don't make it far before the rumbling of his motorcycle echoes behind me. He pulls up next to me, letting the bike remain idol. "Will you get on the bike?" he asks frustrated.

  "What's the point? So you can tell me I'm an idiot for being with him?" I can't even look at Jaron. I have to look forward, feeling embarrassed for being caught in the midst of everything.

  "Ravyn." He says my voice kindly. Almost like he doesn't want to be upset with me. He just wants my attention. It takes more effort than it should, but I turn to face Jaron, allowing him to see the tears brimming in my eyes. "Will you please get on the bike?"

  Nodding my head to answer, I climb on the bike behind Jaron, hanging onto his strong body. He doesn't have a helmet with him this time, but I don't care. I like the freeing feeling it gives me as we race down the road. I don’t have a clue where we're going, but it’s okay, I want to be anywhere but here.

  I'm not sure how much time passes by but I know it has to be a few hours. We're in an entirely different region. My legs start to throb from the constant vibration. Jaron finally pulls into a motel parking lot while I was contemplating on asking him to stop, killing the engine once we're in a parking spot.

  "What are we doing here?" I ask, glancing up to the neon vacancy sign.

  "Don't worry, I'll get two beds," he says before tapping on my knee to get up.

  He's a difficult person to understand. He's reserved yet kind, a bit controlling without being a complete asshole. I haven't figured him out yet and I'm not sure I ever want to.

  Climbing from the motorcycle, I look around to find familiarity. I don't leave Arlington often, I have no need to really. There have been the few occasions with Dawn though. Nothing about where we are is familiar, I recognize completely nothing. "Where are we?" I ask Jaron as we head into the motel lobby.

  "Vermillion."

  "As in... South Dakota?"

  "Yup." He opens the door and allows me to go in first. I don't walk though, instead I stare at him with question. Why are we in a completely different state over two hours from home? At a motel no less. He has a life, as do I, we can't just run away.

  Lifting his brow, he asks curiously, "Are you coming in or not?"

  "Uh, yeah," I answer after a second before finally walking through the door.

  The air conditioner makes it twice as cold in the lobby than it is outside. A lady in a maroon polo shirt greets us from the other side of the desk, a large
smile on her face when she notices Jaron. "Hi, can I help you?" Her eyes never once fall upon me, they remain glued to Jaron while he orders a room for the night, with two beds like he claimed. I swear I watched the ladies smile widen when he mentioned that part.

  Getting the room keys, we walk down the hall towards room one-eleven. Jaron opens the door and allows me to go in first. The room reeks of stale cigarette smoke, the same smell as walking through the front door of my house. I sit on the first bed while Jaron walks past and sits on the one closest to the window, taking his shoes off and pushing them out of the way. He stretches and I can't help but stare at him as his shirt lifts from his stomach, revealing not only a chiseled stomach underneath the fabric but a hint of a tattoo as well.

  I want to ask what it is of, but I don't push those boundaries. Instead I ask, "What are we doing here?" Since he didn't answer me the first time I asked.

  "Needed to rest," he answers casually. Reaching to the side table, he grabs the remote and turns on the TV, then lays back on the pillow to relax. He does this too often, ignoring the real questions asked.

  As much as I want to ignore life and all the unanswered questions as he does, I can't. Being pesky I ask again, "Jaron. What are we doing here? As in Vermillion, as in hours away from home?"

  With a sigh, Jaron mutes the TV and sits up a little straighter in his bed. He looks at me with disappointment. "How long has he been doing that?"

  I stare at Jaron, too scared to tell him the truth but not wanting to lie. So instead I don't say anything.

  "Well?"

  "I don't know," I mumble, looking down at my hands. I wring my hands nervously, knowing I'm going to receive some kind of lecture from Jaron.

  When he doesn't say anything after a minute I look up at him curiously. He's still staring at me but I don't think he's looking at me. Something is playing in his mind, such as a memory, one he doesn't exactly enjoy.